What if i die, no longer where i am

ok ... thought of this when i was on the bus. Ya.. when i was like thinking how many homeworks i need to do and other stuff need to be done. Someone said that i was very hateful. I dislike almost everyone in my life, while i am trying to change that. But this person who said this sentence hurts me alot. a lot. I start to think ..
will other people's life be better without me?
will they be happier?
will they have less people to dislike them ?

I do not have an answer for those questions but i did have some answers for this.

IF i am not born,
then my younger sis will be happier, as everyone will love her more. My grandma will not pick on her. My parents will not have stand with my god-parents. My parents need not spend a lot of money as i always the one in the whole family who need the most money. Maybe now, their life will be better off.

IF i am not in school,
then my friends will have peaceful school life. They need not hear all my talking. They need not take the stress that i giving them. They will enjoy their school life. They can have no worries. They need not take care of me. They need to do a lot of things as i am always the demanding one.

IF
IF
IF

IF only one day i can just disappear,
then i need to take all the stress,
need not care about what others think
need not worry about deadline
need not study
need not worry about passing the test
and IF possible
make everyone life better ..

wouldn that be nice??

haha .. such a lamer am i ... how can i just disappear? haha ... sure.. learn it from harry potter then ... XD impossible la ... all those things ... are just IF


tt all ...

( my life my God my self)

sick day

Yo ppl! I am sick again. HAHA! Ok,i know what are you thinking. I am perfectly fine yesterday but sick today. How can it be? This is due to sleepless nightS and PW. I only get to sleep 5 hours daily, of course, after 5 days, i am sick.

Anyway, i promise that i will put up picture of elizabeth-the bear. XD ... She is suppose to be in my living room, but due to the fur, i have to shift it to outside. But my father wrapped it with Plastic bag and put it in my living again. XD so funny!! I also put up other photos to clear my phone mermory.
My brother singing ... forgot what song is he singing
My sis parade ... she is one of the member at tat band
Wanted to take a closer look .. but cant ... phone too .. haiz
ZI LIAN ... haha ... taken at sakae sushi ...
Lost in East Coast... XD
Random Pic done by SIS
The cross which saved us ..
Random pic !!


Another pic of Elizabeth
My piggo!
A Good day at vivo city

My Painting !! I did it when i am in primary six. Pretty rite?

My money baby!! My best friend gave it to me as a christmas gift.

Elizabeth with sunglasses



haha.. I took this photo one month ago. XD Doing flagday for GB and Yong-en

tt all ... stil got more ... but will do it the nx time ...

why why

I am feeling very stressed now. NOW! Why? When i state a deadline, no one cares. Okay. Not really no one cares but... I do not what to say. I seriously do not want to continue my life with this kind of authority or maybe i am only at the starting point. Then, this is a bad start.

My sec 2's life is good, with no stress and able to do a lot of things that i wanted to do. My sec 3's life is good too, with strss and able to do a lot of things that i wanted to do.

Comparing my sec 2's life and sec 3's life.

Sec 2
1. know God ( my cell grp)
2. take leadership position in GB ( asl)
3. take leadership postion in school ( peer lite)
4. top 20 in my class ( 16 or 17 )
5. join chinese competitions ( win two awards)
6. able to blance my school life and family time ( i can sleep at ten thirty every night and still able to spend quatity time with my family)

YES !! I can sleep at ten thirty and NOW??

Sec 3 ( first half of the year cum first few weeks of term 3)
1. Grew closer to God ( going to do prayer point)
2. take leadership position in GB ( service head )
3. take leadership postion in school ( i am still a peer lite )
4. top 20 in my class ( totally fail in this section .. 34 .. SAD)
5. join chinese competition ( now i have three competition in a row . WOW )
6. able to balance my school life and family time ( the earliest time i slept is only eleven and now .. my family been complaining that i spend more time in school than home.)

OH MY!! What is going on?? Even though i met a lot of new friend and a lot of things happens. I still unable to accept these new things. EXCOS ?? What a nice for it, and what am i doing? NOTHING. Other than my own community project, i cannot do anything else. OK. Maybe this is not the right way to phrase it. I AM invloved in everthing physically but not metally. So what is the point to have the title and cannot really help in anything? I rather be the happiest GB gal than the sadiest Exco.

Someone tells me, this is just the beginning. Do no take the things hardly, as in, i can give up easily. Maybe, i should take one step from everything and get the new picture of everything. This takes time and TIME is all i need. Taken this from someone's webpage.

2 Thessalonians 3:3- But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.

Philippians 4:19- And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Isn't that great. That is a promise from God. God will meet all your needs. Maybe right now your thinking, God isn't meeting my need right now I'm really hurting right now and it seems like God doesn't care. There is an answer to this dilemma and it is found in

Mathew chapter 7 verses 7 and 8 where it says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

So do you need peace, ask God for peace. Need joy, ask God for joy. When you ask however remember these two things.

1) Pray according to God's will.

In James 4:3 it says, "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

2) Have faith in your prayer.

James 1:6 thru 8 says "But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." Remember these two things and you will receive all that you ask for. And when you do recieve remember to give the glory to God who answers all your prayers.

http://bigbadbubba.tripod.com/bible.htm

Life has to go on but now, as a child of God, i learnt to lean on Him.

wat game is this ...

Kena sabo into this 'Tag-Game"! All the instruction and everything is from EMILY ... as she is the one who sabo me.



Each player shall start by sharing 6 weird things about themselves.They will then tag 6 new players. And these 6 people who're tagged, will write a new entry and giving 6 weird things about themselves. And the game shall carry on ...6



Weird things about myself:



1. I love to talk to myself XD for no reason.

2. Even though i know that my singing is not very good, i love to sing to myself.

3. I am a SALMON feak .. haha I can eat 13 plates of salmon sushi XD

4. I am also a fan of Emily the strange... many ppl find it wierd

5. I called myself emo but actually i am not really emo .. i FOUND out that other ppl are more emo than mi ...

6. I got a bunch of wierd friends ... lik the one who asked me to play this game ...

AND NOW ...

is my turn to sabo ppl .. haha ...

1. Shi Min:)
2. Si Pei:)
3. Sharlene:)
4. Zhen Yi:)
5. Jodie:)
6. my SISter bao bao :)

haha .. good luck to those ppl ... XD