第七回 , 第八回

人性是什么？

是同情，

还是原谅？


第七回


跟她聊了几天，我发现她其是个善良的女生，并没有她所说的那么坏。


她喜欢与别人聊天。她会画画，也喜欢跳舞。她很糊涂，会将简单的事变得很复杂。她很善良，就算不认识我，也肯听我的故事。


她为何这么恨她呢？喜欢把她说地一文不值，又喜欢把自己说得很可怜。我到底应该同情她还是她？


我不知道，

我只知道，

我好想爱了另一个她。




























我坚信，

你没变，

是我变了。


第八回


"Jerry 是谁？"


"他是我的好朋友。"


"就朋友而已？"


"对！ 不要胡思乱想！计划进行的如何？她爱上了你了吗？"


"我不确定，但是我们每天都有联络。"


"那就好！我看她说聊到你，就会很开心。她好像喜欢你了！不如，就趁现在跟她告白！"


"真的要这做吗？"


"当然！我们不是说好了吗？"


"我。。。 。。。"

第六回

爱情是一场赌注,
只有赢或输。
他输了她，
却赢了我。

第六回

"你觉我做得对不对？"

"... ... "

我从来没有见过你的未婚夫。我怎么可能会知道你解除婚约是不是对的。

"只要你选择的是爱你的人，我没有别的意见。"

"我就知道我没有做错选择。Jerry的性格比他好。你知道吗？那天，Jerry。。。 。。。"

"你有没有在听？"

"我在听。你就继续说吧！"

我的好朋友兴奋地说着她男朋友有多好。如果她已确定自己的选择，那又何必说这么多话来肯定自己呢？

我倒是可怜她的前未婚夫，因为有这样的未婚妻才会有如此的下场。

这么一想，他和他的情况十分相似。

哎！这世界有这么多失恋的人？

第五回

缘份来了，
是谁说的？
爱情来了，
是你告诉我的。

第五回

已经几天了，我们仍处于聊天况态。你会告诉她今天做了什么，而你又怎么帮助她。我只是默默作你聆听的对象。或许看太多的爱情故事，我偶而也会想象。

我会想象我是她。
我会想象守护天使。
我会想象你如何帮她。
我会想象你爱的人是我。
我会想象。。。 。。。

所以，为了这个单纯的想象，我愿意花时间和精神。我愿意赌上一个奇迹。我相信你的守护会有回报。她会明白你的用心，而再次会到你的身边。

如果世界只有相信，
会不会将一个复杂的世界变简单？

因为有了相信，
就没有怀疑，
更没有迟疑。
人与人之间，
会不会少了距离，
多一点关心？

倘若他爱的人是我，
那该多好啊？

confusion or complicated

Confusion
If Facebook has this word for relationship status, i will just put that.

Complicated?
My relationship status is obiviously single, so it is not complicated.

Why am i confuse?

I know i like someone but i dont know who is it. HAHA~ Believe me, i really dont know. or maybe i dont even like anyone. OH MY~ i am so confused! HAHA~ I mean like is a feeling. It is just certain extent of hmmm.. ( no idea, wanna check the meaning of like in the dictionary but found crap about it. ) Now, i finally realised i dun really like anyone. That is truly amazing. Take my words, literally k? But i still love God, my family and friends :D


像白痴，我以为我爱上你。但是，其实，那不是爱。我想，那只是一时的冲动。现在，浪已走了，感觉也没了。诺有造成困扰，对不起。诺没有，那么谢谢你。因为你，我突然好像交了很多朋友。哈哈~

END OF A LEVEL~ :D

HAHA~
I am really happy today :D
Can you imagine all the studies and worries that i had for past few months are all GONE~ :D
HAPPY TTM!

I hope my skin will get better, though it is still very red. But, who cares? At least A level is over! Time to find job, prepare for prom and learn to drive... AND maybe find my prince too~ HAHA! Sounds like a despo but i guess my friends will understand me :D

I just wanna blog about my joys and my feelings today!

I am really glad to be in nyjc with this group of friends. They really taught me how to study and have fun at the same time. Now that i no need to sms them whether we are gonna study tmr, i kind of miss it. HAHA~ Even though there are much to look forward after A levels, but i really miss our mugging time :D those time that we crap and bully me :( HAHA~ (P.S : it doesnt mean that i enjoyed the bullying hor.. i am not like pervert or weirdo who enjoys being bullied.) looking at those books that are pilling on my table, it's time to THROW THEM AWAY :D Oh man~ it is gonna be fun to throw books :D

What do i want to say?

Well, i dun know whether i should say this or not.

But my friends should understand that i can't really keep sercet or things to myself. I mean i will still unfair for her but still agree with what you all said loh. I am confused. This is really difficult! I used to think that people are simple and actions are taken easily. This is the reason why i am shocked when you all kept saying that her actions are planned. Haiz.. Isnt leading that kind of life tough? I mean everyday, you woke up and tell yourself that you need to pretend to be somebody. TOUGH MAN! I will rather not wake up, cause i am so afriad that someone else will realise my true colour~ Leading that kind of life is fake, i dun really think anyone can survived with two faces everyday loh! In my heart, i truly pity you. BUT~ SORRRY~ I am still afraid of that awkward time! :(( I am really tired of holding your hand when everyone asks me to let go. I am so sorry!

Other than her, i wanna blog about someone else too. People from different world are hard to connect together. I understand, therefore i dun force it. Feelings are wierd to me. I dun think i really treasure it until i lose it. I like the feeling of being loved. I llke the feeling that someone cares for me. I like the feeling that someone thought for me. Sorry if i am being too selfish but i like the feeling that someone loves me more than i love that someone. So, i will move on to find someone who loves me more than i love that someone. HAHA~ it is kind of bad for that someone but i like it! HAHA~ Anyway, the main point is things that are not fated, will not be together.




你有没有试过一个人在夜里独自哭泣？
我试过。
你有没有曾被一个很爱很爱你的人抛弃？
我受伤过。
你有没有在无助的时候，躲在一个角落？
我害怕过。

因为，
拥有这些经验，
我担心，我犹豫，我胆小，
我不愿在被这样伤害了。

我的痛，
我的泪，
我的心，
你了解吗？

第四回

面具，

是一种伪装。

她的面具，

是一种假装。


第四回


为什么？


我知道她不是她，却仍决定帮她。
我帮她实现她的复仇计划。
接近她，对她好，让她爱上我，然后在抛弃她。


这么简单却伤人的计划，我同意了。


为什么？


在那善良的面孔，藏着不畏人知的一面。
我发现了，并没有醒来。爱就有这股能耐，能够让人忘了人性。


她真的很可怜。我却不能去同情。
我的所做所为是对的吗？我不知道，也不想知道。
只要最终能得到她的爱，就是值得的。

矛盾

当我说可以的时候，不一定是可以。
当我说不要的时候，不一定是不要。

我承认我很难搞。（虽然有人说我很像一本书一样，容易猜到我在想什么。）
因为有时，我都不知道我要的是什么。

很矛盾，
但
那就是
我！

哈哈~

我刚刚想到一个很复杂的感情故事。

女生A喜欢男生B，但男生B喜欢女生C。
女生C是男生D的女朋友。
男生D是女生A的哥哥。

所以，
诺我是女生A，我的情敌是我的哥哥的女朋友。
诺我是男生B，我爱上了一个有夫之妇。
诺我是女生C，我会莫名其妙地被弟妹讨厌，却还有男性的好朋友。
诺我是男生D，我希望我不知道我的妹妹所喜欢的人喜欢我的女朋友，这样一来，我就不需要想太多。

如果是你，你选择做什么？

奇怪的人生

人很奇怪。

有时，时运高，什么好事都会来。
有时，时运低，什么坏事都会来。

事情的好与坏，我不觉得跟时运有关，而是与人的本质息息相关。

人与树木不同，因为我们有感情。
人与动物不同，因为我们有思想。
人与人又不同，因为我们有个性。

所以，不如意的事情的发生，不能怪时间，应该怪的是你自己。因为你的个性才会导致事情的发生。

我不是蛮不讲理，认为一个人不能有自己的性格。
但是，如果当很多人觉得你的性格有问题时，是不是时候来做一个自我检讨呢？

人非圣贤，孰能无过。
你勇于改变，我就勇于接受。

我不得不承认我不是好人。
我也有坏脾气。
我也会骂人。
我也很固执。

但是，再固执的我，还是需要朋友，还是需要把耳根弄软。因为我不要失去朋友，更不要活在自己的世界里。

该说的，我都说了。

现在，
就得看你了。























人没有十全十美。但为了你，我愿做到完美。

心情好不好

Just wanna to blog on this special day! It is triple tens! :D cool rite?

However, I am feeling kind of not happy. I dun know why~ just not happy loh.

每当心情不好，我总是想吃甜的食物。但是，无论怎么吃，心情还是不好。

好啦~

我喜欢他！可以吗？

但是，我不要他因此而被迫要喜欢我。这样的爱不真实，我不要。

我很胆小，所以不要再受另一次的打击。

我宁愿当一个旁观者。

bad mood

I am gonna write super nasty stuff today. So, if you cannot believe that i will write nasty stuff, then just dont read it!

You are just the stupid girl that i know loh. I didn say it plainly cause i thought everyone knew it. Why everyone can says that their sisters went to university or jc and i cant? I didn even expect you to teach me homework. To think about it now, you didn even teach me any work at all! I kind of self figure it out~ WHAT! Then, what kind of sister are you? You dont want to find a full time job and idle at home. You just wanna to watch videos and tell me that it is not fair for you to do all the housechores. COME ON! Who in this family has this much of time? I dun expect you to do all the housechores but at least dun fight with me when i have A levels.

Do you know the stress that i am facing for A levels?
I dun think you understand loh! Which idiots will ask her sister to have a back-up plan? You just sent me a messange, telling me that i wont get into a university. OH PLEASE~ Who can be as stupid as you? Even if i didn get into a university, i will make sure that i get a decent job! I will not stay at home and just watch videos! You are like 23 years old and still didn get a proper job loh! Who says that younger sister will look up to older sister? You doesnt derserve the respect that you should receive. Trust me, why am i calling you sister is just because you are older than me. The stuff you did doesnt affect me at all. Treating you as an idiot, is just what i like to do. Looking at you and listening to your naive comments, i will just laugh off loh~

I dun want to waste my time hating you. Can you do some constructive stuff? WHAT? By saying that you worked whole day and wanna a rest at home? OH PLEASE~ You are not earning thousand per month loh!!!! OH MY~ YOU THINK WHAT SIA~














A LEVELS IS COMING~ I am gonna work hard and get good grades! Then, go overseas and study! Then, i will not need to see her stupid face!

最特别的你

你走了，
连再见也不说就走了。

为什么？
你不要等到我回来再走？
无情的你，就这样走了。

我为你哭了。
我为你祈祷了。
再多的事，我都做了，
也挽回你的再见。

生命很惨酷，
当我正想跟你玩时，
他就带走你。

我记得我们曾快乐的日子，
我记得我们曾玩乐的时候。

你是朋友，
你也是我的过客，
你也曾是我的人生。

如今，你选择离开。
我不会怪你。
我不会留你。

我只要你开心，幸福就可以了。
我已经很知足。

祝你幸福快乐。
谢谢你曾给我的欢乐！ ：D
HAMMY! I LOVE YOU :D

Who do you think you are?

Guess what? I am still a human with feelings. I will feel hurt and sad. You can laugh all you want and do whatever you like. However, you got to admit that I still got other friends! Friends that care about me and even console me when I am sad! It is better than depending you. Using what I am or have to be your source of joy. It is just not worth it. If you bother about it, please just take a moment to think. A moment will do, what did you do? I got to admit that I am not perfect. However, I take the least by caring how you feel. If you really think that it is not enough, I got nothing to say. A friend care and concern, not a friend who take pleasure at every single weakness I have. I am not perfect, are you? Think about it.

pity? hate? dislike?

Why bother?

I have been asking myself this question a lot of times.

If she decides to live her life this way, let her be. Consequences? She will have to suffer it. There is nothing i can do or help.

It is irritating to know that you like to vent your anger at someone else. The innocent party have to suffer everything that you went through. FOR WHAT? Therefore, i always prefer to suffer everything by myself. This is also not the ultimate solution. The problems will be like a snow ball rolling around and become a big one. This is the sad part of life. This is the truth. No one wants to be the innocent party, no one wants to get the big snow ball.

I believe there is a way to get rid of the snow ball and not to become the innocent party. I do not how but i know when.

When we die,
people will then appreciate you.
people will realise the importance of your existence.
people will regret for doing nasty things to you.
people will praise you.
people will talk about you.
people will miss you.
people will feel lost.
people will know that you are unreplaceable .
people will love you .

This is sad but true. I knew that i am gonna die one day. However, knowing that only after i die, people will do these to you, i want to die early. But, will they even miss you? Probably or not even no.

I am not worth for them to miss?

Then, why am i still living?

To become someone that they will miss when i pass away.

I really miss my dad.

This really proves that he did a lot of stuff to make me miss him. I hate this fact but it just cannot be ignore. I hate to see people holding their father's hand. Why can't I? I got a lot of chances to do that before but i didn't. I got a lot of chances to do a lot of stuff but i didn't. Now, i can only be a cry baby and regret all the chances that i am given.

I was told to learn from the lesson. I should learn to treasure every monment that i have with my family and friends. On the second thought, i rather don't treasure the monment.

Why?

You are so close to the person but you can't be sure that you can love the person forever. I choose not to love, at least when the person is gone, you don't have to cry every night. I don't want to have really close friends. I am afraid to lose them. The feeling of losing loves one is horrible. It is so horrible that you wish you are the person who is dead than her.

I still remember that fateful night, how i make fun of him and force to do what i like. He is smiling and my mum is laughing. I forced him to bathe and go airport with me. He forced me to say that he is handsome. If second chance is given, i will not call him handsome. I will tell him to stay alive and wait for my children to call him handsome grandpa. The truth is there is no second chance and he is really gone.

People wonders why am i so strong and able to control my feeling?

I am not.

I want to cry all the times. I want to call him and tell him all the stupid test that my teacher gave it to me. I want to complain to him. I want to..

There is so many wants but i can't.

Nothing can stop my love for him. Nothing will bring me away.















Unless i die and meet him again.

第三回

为了爱，

我听她的话。

为了爱，

我骗了她。


第三回


我不知道我所做的一切是否是对的。
她要我这么做，我就会去这么做。


诺爱一个人会失去理性，那我真的疯了。
我爱她，所以会不顾一切地去满足她的要求，甚至是伤害别人。


我不知道是她变了，

还是，

我爱疯了。


刚认识她时，她是一个开朗的女生。
我喜欢上她爽朗的个性，更爱上她的笑容。
一直以来，我都相信她所说的话。这可能就是爱吧！


自从她提出这个计划后，她开始变了，她变成了我不认识的她。
迷人的笑容，善良的个性，全都消失。
瞬间，我所认识的她好像走了。


是我多疑了吗？

但是，

我愿意听她的话，

因为我真的很爱她。

第二回

他爱她，

所以他守护着她。

我可怜他，

所以我陪着他。


第二回


一加一是二


诺爱情也可以照这个理论，
世界会不会少了失恋，多了幸福？
两个相爱的人就在一起。
没有移情别恋，
没有第三者，
也没有所谓的分手。


但是，事实是你爱的人，不一定会爱上你。
他爱的人也不会是你。爱情并没有一加一是二的道理。


就像他们一样，他以为他是她的惟一。
但是在结婚前，她才发现自己并不爱他。







所以，她悔婚了。




他应该觉得庆幸，
至少他在结婚前知道真相。

她也应该觉得开心，
因为她没有嫁给她不爱的男人。





命运就是这么愚弄人，

当你以为幸福来了，

它却悄悄地走了。


我理解他的感受，所以我愿意陪他，听他的心事。
或许，我也曾希望自己寂寞时，有一个可以诉说的对象。

<错爱>

两个素不相识的陌生人，

因为一则简讯，

而开始了不凡的人生旅程。


他是她要找的好情人？

还是，

她是他要的好朋友？


第一回


真是一个莫名其妙的下午，无端端就和一个陌生人聊了起来。说也奇怪，我们俩虽不认识，但是性格却一拍即响。起初，我还以为他是我的好朋友，故意来恶整我。所以，我就配合他。但后来，我发现他真的对我一无所知时，才相信他不认识我。这可能就是所谓的缘份吧！他刚好失恋，而我又有空当他的听众。


说也奇怪，他为了找人诉苦，就乱按了八号码。就这样，一切就从那则简讯而开始。


"为什么要离开我？你已偷走我的心。为什么不要负责任呢？"


这个人是不是有毛病？我又不是小偷，而且心脏有这么容易就能拿出来吗？看在本姑娘有时间的份上，就指点你一下吧！


"哈哈，我不是小偷。所以不能负责任。诺你不满你的心被偷，就报警。我相信警察会尽力帮你的"


"警察？爱情也有警察的话，就希望他们能把所有的爱情骗子给抓起来。"


"爱情怎么可能会有骗子？你是心甘情愿地爱他，你就不应该强求他会爱回你。所以，没有骗不骗，只有真爱还是假爱。"


"我真的爱她，为她付出了这么多。最终得到是一场空。"


"爱情本来就没有回报。你把爱情当投资？"


这个人真的太自私吧！只为自己着想，却没有为对方着想。虽然本姑娘没有谈过恋爱，都知道爱是不平等的。幸好，平时听朋友的爱情故事听惯了，所以不怎么特别可怜这个人。


"那她当初就不答应我的求婚，我就不必这么伤心了。"


其实，他也蛮可怜的。爱一个人能爱得那么深。真希望自己是那个女人。


"或许，她有什么苦衷，所以不能和你结婚。你就不要太伤心了。你这么痴情，一定会找到更好的。"


"我不要找到更好的。我想当她的守护天使。只要她开心，我就开心了。"


我默默地祝福他。希望他真的替她找到她要的幸福。

Dilemma

Currently, I am in a dilemma. "~"

I seriously dun know whether i should tell them or not? Maybe i should wait until the thing becomes official then i tell.

I am just really sad that such stuff happens to me. Finally, when i became passionate about stuff, there will always be another stuff hindering me. :(

I told someone already, but she seems OK with it. I knew that it doesn't concern her, but i hope she will at least console me or tell me what to do. Haiz.. but she did not. So i am kind of still sad then. :((

Maybe i should just tell them la~
Anyway it doesn't really make much differences whether i am there or not. They can always find a replacement soon. It is kind of easy to replace me, so i guess they will not be sad about it.

HAIZ..
I think i will just wait and see what will happens.
All well goes well.
Trust in God and He will give me the best choice.




God, please let me get what i want :D

AMEN!

希望？

最近，有很多不好的事情频频发生在我的亲人，朋友身上。

我觉得，
人到了某个年龄，
希望将为失望。

所期待的，不会发生。
所不要的，就必定发生。

这就是人生吗？

我觉得人到了六十，七十岁时，离别是件普通的事。
但对于一个十几岁的人来说，离别是件伤痛的事。

我相信世界上有所谓的习惯。
因为经过几次的离别，我觉得我已经习惯了。

第一次：不解 （不了解为何他要走）
第二次：伤痛 （不舍得他走，不要他走！)
第三次：麻木 （开始习惯离别的悲哀）

诺再发生多几次，我想我不会再哭。
哭红了双眼，耗费了所有的精力，也是挽回不他的存在。
我选择不哭，不是因为无情，而是我要他看到我坚强的一面。
这样一来，他才会安心地走，我也能继续我的生活。




妈妈！ 哥哥！ 姐姐！ 妹妹！ 朋友！
诺有一天我走了，不要哭。
你们要笑着送我走最后一个在人间的时间，
多说些我曾做过的傻事，
多来看我最后一眼，
这样一来，
我知道我无须为你们担心。
我知道你们会过得很好。

谢谢！ :D

i am tired.

What should i do?
You are really making sick and tired.
I am sick of your lies. I am tired of your stories.

I told myself that i should believe in you. I DID.
What did i receive?
Disappoinment and Stress.
I dun know what to do.
Please teach me.

Have you changed or i changed?
Or even if this is the right question to ask?
I am crying because of you.

You are really making me feel sad.
I dun know who to trust anymore. You or them?
I dun even know who to tell all my stuff.
I dun know.
Please.
Is it possible to tell me the truth?
THE REALLY TRUTH.
Please.

I dun want to lose anything.
I dun wan.






















My heart is breaking. Someone please piece it back for me.

should I continue to trust you?

this season is seriously sucks to the team! We can really win loh! It is just that luck is not on our side. For the next match, I will really kiss the court! Haha~

Anyway, this is not the main point for me to blog. I was told by someone that a real friend will tell each other what they feel about each other. However, it is really difficult to do so.

I just know that I am tired of all Stories . I cannot stand it when she wants to tell how pitiful is her...

We MUZ win~

A division is coming soooooooooooooon~ LOL! Sounds like a movie!

I really hope to be in TOP FOUR. I REALLY REALLY WANT TO BE IN!

As much as i want, floorball is a team sport. Everyone in the team must have the same desire then we will have a common goal. Haiz..

I know all of you are scared. ME TOO~ However, we must believe in ourself. We must believe that we are actually as strong as the other teams. We can really win if we want it badly! So, let's JIA YOU! Treat every match like the last match that we gonna play, and play it with all our might!

ATTACKERS!

Just try your best and shot whenever you got a chance! Look at the merahans, they just shoot shoot shoot. They dun even care that we are there! I bet with one thousands chances, at least we will get 5 goals per match loh!

DEFENDERS!

Just hug the shooter la~ LOL! Chase all the balls with all your might and dun let the opponents get the chance to shoot. Clear the ball out of our court and even try to score too!! All our defenders can shoot! As long we try to shoot when we get the ball to the opponent's court, we earn ourself a chance! YEAH!

GOALIES!

Just block all the balls! If the defenders nv come back and help you, shout for them!!! We will all run back to help you and will not let you face the opponent alone!!! YEAH! JIA YOU!! :))

Come on, GIRLS~ Do what you like and do what you can do BEST!

We can and we ARE stronger, better than other teams.

Work together as team and we WILL write a NEW page for NYFB's history!!

OK~

HAHA~

I guess i am just being low low low~ for that few days!

SORRY~

Thanks darling~ Sorry that i made you worried for nothing.

I think there are just too many things that are on my mind.

Anyway,

block test result is back. Consultation and mugging session need to be on the right track. J1s are coming to floorball. With A division coming, i am going gaga soooon~

I just hope that i can handle all the stress and everything!

:)

why am i so sensitive?

Am i being over reactive?
Am i just too emotional?
OR i am just being irritating?

I really dun like it when you all call me names.
I really dun like it when you all comment on my stuff.
I really dun like it when no one listens to me.
I really dun like it when you all just walk away and leave me alone.

I know i am being demanding.
I am a spoiled child.
So?
Does that give you all the rights to comment or talk about me?

I really tried my best.
Taking your words as advice and try not to think of the negative side.

However, i CANNOT.

It just hurts my heart when i was left alone.
It just kills me when i know that i dun understand what are you all talking about.
It just irritates me when you all just call me names.

Maybe,
you all can take it.

But,
i can't.

I got a weak heart ever since that inccident happens.
I really dun like it!

You all are my best best friends. That why, I listened to all your words.
However,

all i need is just SUPPORT.

I got my life. I made my own decision. I am ok with you telling me your advice but PLEASE support me too.

I dun want to feel that i am like alone.

Feeling ridiculous?

I also think so.

Why do i still love you all when i dun like you all so much?
NAH..

That is why i love to keep things to myself.
So much to share but no one to listen.

HAIZ.

I am a weirdo.

Just accept it.

Feel like screaming into someone's face and slap it!
BUT I CANT~

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~